i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
