We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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