i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
