3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
