Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
