The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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