What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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