How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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