Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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