How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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