maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
