Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
