I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had to cum in my sink.
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