Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
