and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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