oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize