You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
