So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize