Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
