sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize