he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
