and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
