THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
