She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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