And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
