problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
