she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
