I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize