i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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