Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
