I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
