it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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