I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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