I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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