You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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