Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
