I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
