ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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