You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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