dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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