i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
