No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
