My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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