I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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