I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
