I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
