im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i came on her dog
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
