Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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