she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
soo... how was my night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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