Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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