definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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