around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
