My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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