ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
