they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
