nutella sex= disaster
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
