3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Success! We fucked roommates!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
