she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
